mplsMOMMY

Nana Turns 93

Originally uploaded by dsmithsteeves

This fantastic photo is Dan’s Nana, or to my boys, Great Nana Mae. She turned 93 on December 8th and can you even stand how fabulous she looks? Nana is about 3 1/2 feet tall, talks with a Staten Island accent and is as sassy as ever. In fact, she’s so darn adorable I want to pop her in my mouth like a sweetie and gobble her up whenever we see her, which is way too infrequently. To top it off, she still lives independently in Florida with her boyfriend Merle – who I believe is 97! What an amazing life – we love & miss you, Nana!

In other non-news, ’tis the season and I’m NOT stressed out. Hate me if you want, but I am practically jolly. We are healthy, taking our time with shopping and our favorite holiday activities, and refusing all Grinch & Scrooge-like behavior. Except for Dan, who is the local Grinch but happens to be ever so cute about it. I have decked my halls, jingled my bells, caroled at the top of my lungs in my kitchen and delivered Christmas treats. I have made time for exercise and friends, and felt joyful doing it. Even autism seems to have tamed itself a bit inside Elliot’s body, allowing for a more relaxed and peaceful existence for him.

Now maybe this is the result of some sort of denial-ridden bubble I keep myself in, but I like to think it is the result of choosing to enjoy the season each day and all the madness it brings. But now I fully expect after putting this out there (especially in writing!) that we will succumb to the stomach flu and some other disaster will befall the family. But for now – ho, ho, ho!! And much peace to you and yours now and in the new year.

Q trims our tree

Originally uploaded by dsmithsteeves

Here is my Q-Q, helping to trim our Christmas tree. He is an industrious little soul, always in search of a job and some “work.” He is also still as scrumptious as when he was babe, and as long as I keep his hands busy we get along just fine. Today I was doing some holiday baking after picking him up from school, and just the two of us were hanging out in the kitchen.

Q: Mommy, why are you Daddy’s wife?
Me: Because Daddy and I fell in love and decided to get married.
Q (starting to wimper): But I don’t WANT you to be Daddy’s wife!
Me (startled by his sudden sadness): Well . . . why not, baby?
Q (really crying now): Because I need you to play with me!

Oh my. I took him for a cuddle after that one, as he clearly needed some of my attention and love. This is one advantage of being a mother of boys – for a small amount of time you get to be their one and only true love.

Don’t hate me for it, but I’m getting an obscene amount of sleep.  We are in the beautiful mountains of NC, here to celebrate Thanksgiving and kick off the Advent season.  This morning we woke to a light blanket of snow, an idyllic way to end our trip.  We have been eating, playing games, watching holiday movies and visiting, visiting, visiting.  You know you’ve reached a certain age when you not only start using the word “visit,” but actually thoroughly enjoy the action. 

On Friday we jump started Advent two days early with a small version of an Advent spiral downstairs, as the boys are missing theirs at school.  We each lit our candles and placed them on the spiral of greens, celebrating our inner light in the darkest time of the year.  Then Elliot read aloud the Advent story amidst the candlelight, while we all sat quietly and listened, even our two year old niece, Chloe.  He did such a beautiful and expressive job that we were all moved, and thoroughly absorbed a rare peaceful moment during this hectic time of year.

A friend shared these words from Marge Piercy with me last week, and I found them remarkably beautiful:

Weave real connections, create real nodes, build real houses.
Live a life you can endure, make love that is loving.
Keep tangling and interweaving and taking more in,
a thicket and bramble wilderness to the outside but to us
interconnected with the rabbit runs and burrows and lairs.

Elliot was discussing his school day with me, and mentioned the silly antics of two boys who were then sent to the office. Elliot had a visit there last week. In fact, there seems to be a frequent stream of 1st grade boys to and from the office for their 5 minute “break.” I was secretly relieved – in the kindest way possible of course – to hear other boys were also having the occasional challenge at holding it together. I said, “Wow. Sounds like lots of the boys are having a hard time controlling their sillies at school.” “Yeah.” he says, “But not the girls. The girls are always good listeners at school.”

Wow, I have had some busy hands lately. I made Halloween costumes, painted the living room and kitchen, started and mostly finished a doll, started work on curtains for the first grade classroom, raked leaves, and began to finish painting the trim inside and outside to complete my dad’s beautiful new window work. I’m pooped out but can’t complain, as it is all so satisfying to me. Especially the painting, which is almost meditative. As I did the living room I was reminded of all the history our little family has already made in our small house on Quentin Avenue. My dad did the last round of painting while I was in the hospital after having Elliot, and I can see him perfectly in my mind’s eye in his bib overalls holding the paint can that certain way he does. I smiled to myself as I traced his work, cutting in around the ceiling and trim, no tape, right and left-handed just as he taught me. I imagined my Grandpa Frank (founder of the “Smith Paint Service”) pausing his card playing in heaven with Rose, Irene and Nels, ashing his cigarette, and then giving me a supportive “atta girl” with a grin. How blessed I am to have had those in my life who have taught me to sew, paint, knit, garden – all these skills that sustain me – and most importantly, the immeasurable pleasure of a job well done.

E loses the first top middle tooth.

Originally uploaded by dsmithsteeves

. . . my two front teeth, my two front teeth . . . and so the song goes. I think he might be singing it this year!

Quinton is on the couch, having just awakened. Dan inquires, “Quinton….are you picking your nose?” Quinton calmly replies, “No, Daddy. I’m just putting my finger up there.”

Elliot has been trying on a swear word – the bad one. He heard it by reading the lyrics in a song in Dan’s “Acoustic Guitar Bible.” I quickly corrected him and explained not only was this a mean word but also a very shocking and bad word – never to be said even while discussing the word. So now he has taken to referring to it as “you know that word I said….” and he is completely fixated on the consequences that will occur if he says it. “How many minutes would I have to stay in my room without music and books if I said ‘that word I said’, Mom? If I had to go to the office at school would I need to be there all day?? Would I get to come home?? Would I get in trouble with the police?”

This brings us to tonight, as I’m helping Elliot dry off after a shower. He is drilling me with questions about “that word he said” . . . . again. Exasperated I say, “Elliot! Just don’t say the word and you’ll never have to worry about it. PLEASE, try to fill your brain up with thoughts of something happier.”

His immediate reply is, “I’m going to think about riding a red double-decker bus because I miss London so much.” And then he bursts into tears. We hug, hard.

Yesterday Quinton asked when we were moving back to London. I asked him why. He cried and said, “Because I need to see all my friends.” How quickly I forget that for every pang of longing for London I get the boys also have one, yet don’t necessarily have the skills to articulate it or recognize how they are feeling. I guess we need to talk about it a bit more, and maybe take a peek through our memory box and pictures. We miss you, London.

Darcie’s gameday

Originally uploaded by dansteeves68

Well hello again, virtual world. I have been busy for a couple weeks keeping company with various relatives, first with a visit from Dan’s sister, niece and mom, followed by my parents for Grandparents Day at school and the installation of two new windows in our home by Handyman Extraordinaire Neil. We have been to the apple orchard and to Marshall, MN for my nephew Tyler’s college football game at SMSU. We have had yet another birthday party. We have been sons, grandsons, daughters, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles and cousins. We’ve had oodles of fun. We’ve also been exhausted and cranky. We’ve been…….BUSY.

I sit now with 30 minutes of quiet until the cleaners arrive. Dan took the boys to school this morning, and my parents departed after my dad put the finishing touches on the windows. And then I did something crazy – I took a shower and SHAVED MY LEGS.

Next up – Halloween and painting the living room.